Am I Normal?

When it comes to writing things in this blog, I am always conscious about where "the line" is. Last week I omitted a section I thought would have been a bit inappropriate to talk about, simply because I wouldn't have been talking about my own life, but one of my friends'.

However, after I put the blog as my Facebook status I had the usual, standard conversation that I have with most of my friends, with this specific friend. In case anyone is wondering my standard conversation I have with a number of my friends is the following:

Me: "Tennis? / Badminton? / Golf?"

Friend: "Nah"

So you can see I face rejection on a daily basis. Anyway, back to the specific friend, the conversation actually led on to the blog and what I omitted, and for some reason or another, he seemed keen that I should post about it in this blog, I would have kept him completely nameless however he wished to be called Zac Longsword . . . more like Zac shortsword

So here is a tale about Zac Longsword and his sex life.

I should firstly introduce the story.... I do not know what conversations most of you have with your mothers but I'm pretty happy discussing the lives of some of my friends with my mother. Especially ones where she has an illusionary view about them. For example, one of my friends is incredibly irresponsible, however my mother maintains that he is one of the most responsible people she knows and always trusts him to "look after me" when I leave the house with him. Note how I do not mention a name so I could be talking about any one of my friends, clever eh?

Anyway, this friend is somewhat of a "player" or "manwhore", basically he just gets around a lot. He actually went speed dating recently, and I genuinely believe it was just so he could get a new variety of females to his bed! So, obviously this became dinner chat for me and mother at dinner, and predictably, she refuses to believe me.

"Zac Longsword is a respectable good boy, he would never do anything like that. I am sure you are just lying. I will not believe any of this about Zac unless you can prove it!"

 I really don't understand this, it is as if my friends have drugged or hypnotized my family to make them seem like ideal citizens or perfect people who contribute to society. LIES! MASSIVE LIES!  To all friends, please do not take this seriously, you are all perfect people :) that's why I am friends with you!


This got me thinking about my friends, all my friends are good looking people if I am honest, some more so than others . . . So much so that my mother likes to comment on some of them. Even when you walk into a room full of females you see the direction of their eyes pointing not at you, but at your over masculine friend.


So my friends might look good, but they do not necessarily act good. My friends from my hometown are in general very much sexual rabbits. My friends from university are generally under (what I assume) long dry spells or are in committed long term relationships. So what is the normal? Is there a normal? I do not know, everyone lives their lives differently and I'm not exactly one to comment. I will however laugh and make fun at my friends when I can though!

This leads on to the video of this blog! Everyone does things differently, some are blindly obvious, some are subtle like the b in the word subtle. Here is the video:

For people who know me less - yes I am naked in the shower being filmed by my girlfriend. Am I ok being topless on the internet? You should ask a few of the friends I got voluntarily starkers in front of the first time I met them :)

In this video I do a lot more talking to the camera, I may have only spoken for 10 seconds but it is significantly more than before. Infinitely more! I am trying to build up the confidence and camera skills to do a "Jenna Marbles" styled video - if you haven't seen any of her videos check them out, they are funny and relevant! I would love to say I learnt more editing tricks, and the ability to create audio files and make background music on the guitar for the video, however my girlfriend did all that. All credit for video editing goes to her, all I did was get naked for the camera . . . not the first time. . . JUST KIDDING. Makes me wonder if any of my family reads this blog.

A quick correction about my previous post "I Ball Relatively Hard" I have been told by my work colleagues that the punching above my weight joke is in fact not a joke, but a fact. I apologies for interpreting as a joke, and my pride shrinks ever smaller.

Also note the picture I used, it's me on a night out, so only people willing to read inappropriate things will click on my status as it will be showing that picture. Aren't I considerate?

I Ball Relatively Hard

I'd like to say I tried something new and cool and hip and "down with the kids" and video'd it for all of you to see, however I am afraid to say I have been rather busy/ I failed. As you can see however, I ball so hard that I can take a photo of myself with the camera in my phone in a mirror in a lift and look swag. I have no idea how people use that word but hey, I'm 22. I'm getting old.

The last week has been full of events.

Firstly my brother was tagged in some Facebook photos, on the positive side he was surrounded by girls and looked like he was having the time of his life. The not-so-positive side is that he was wearing Lycra and was actually competing in a cheer-leading competition . . . but hey, each to their own, I'm sure if I had an older brother and he saw some of my photos he would feel somewhat uneasy on the path I was heading down too . . .

Secondly I was chatted up by a male hairdresser. Upon entering the Salon, the receptionist person inevitably allocated me the only Asian hairdresser who asked me what I wanted (standard 5 top 2 sides). He then continually asked me why I disliked my hair and kept stroking me, as one who is pretty good at remaining un-awkward-ded I feel pretty uneasy, perhaps I'm just not used to getting hit on.

Thirdly - for those who don't know I got a new job (pretty certain most of people reading this are those who I have forced begged asked to read this blog and know anyway . . . I have no idea how you get randomers to read what you have done on the internet).

Anyway where I currently work (not the new job) there is somewhat of a "joke" which is presented in such a way that it isn't a joke, but a fact which is badly disguised as a joke so it wouldn't hurt my feelings. The joke is that I am "punching above my weight" - I didn't think I was fugly . . . but maybe I was just arrogant. I told my other half this to which she replied:

"I guess before I was with you so that I would look better in comparison, but now I'm definitely with you for the money"

If you can imagine me pulling a sad face, please imagine it now. . . :(

So the video of today? Well I would like to think it's somewhat of a revenge for said remark. Enjoy:

Just to let you know this wasn't an actual planned revenge thing, but it did cross my mind while it was happening. This video was also filmed on a different day to "sponge sandwich" - I guess returning to university to play with sponges is my favorite way to spend my weekends!

To prove that it wasn't a planned thing, and I wasn't just being harsh, here's another video:

So that proves that it was all in the name of fun. But karma has it's way of getting back at you, sometimes thinking evil is enough. In this case I had already thought evil, but then I planned to do evil. Massive backfire

So soon enough I got my punishment, and by soon I mean about a minute later, in the form of a not so soft hardwood floor. Which felt like the opposite of sponge if I am honest!

Someday, I promise I will gather up the courage and do a proper youtube video . . . one in which I actually do something and talk to the camera . . . but hey, today you got three videos, and lets be fair, they were amazing unique videos - how often are you going to see fully grown adults have fun with sponges?


Just to let people know the person doing the charging in all three videos is one of the most coolest, strongest and all round awesome people you will ever meet. If you are female and are "hot", please comment on this blog and I will set you two up.

Also to let people know, my girlfriend is currently on the train home and has been unable to assist me in writing English. Since I cannot English, please ignore all grammar/ spelling/ Language/ Life mistakes as written here until she has the time to proof read. I apologize in advance to all grammar Nazis out there.